just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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