Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
