So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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