I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
