my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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