I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
and she was petting her beer can
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
