Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh god it's open bar.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
