Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
