I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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