...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
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my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
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she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
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