i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
They have beer where we have blood.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
