I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
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I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
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Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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