I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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