Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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