one might say we're banned from that church
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
