i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
