need another drink. this is the easiest way
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
please come you make the beer taste better
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
