Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
