I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
