He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
