yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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