But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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