I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize