Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
