real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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