Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
