Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize