After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
