I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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