I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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