dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
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dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
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I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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