the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
