i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
