Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
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Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
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Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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