My first STD was from a foam party
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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