I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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