idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
