I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
