we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
