Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
