The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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