i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.