Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.