So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize