Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  You really coming over, don't trick.

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  (313): You really coming over, don't trick. http://tfl.nu/futk
  Replies (2) Good night (1175) Bad night (1666)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.

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  (360): Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news. http://tfl.nu/qxqs
  Replies (10) Good night (662) Bad night (1763)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.

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  (253): i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed. http://tfl.nu/26az
  Replies (35) Good night (3913) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.

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  (978): Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please. http://tfl.nu/4k32
  Replies (12) Good night (2286) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  well you can't waste a boner

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  (330): well you can't waste a boner http://tfl.nu/ixi5
  Replies (12) Good night (4965) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?

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  (267): Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet? http://tfl.nu/aedp
  Replies (24) Good night (4862) Bad night (1323)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.

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  (309): so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday. http://tfl.nu/j6eg
  Replies (8) Good night (5419) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.

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  (262): I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom. http://tfl.nu/hw22
  Replies (13) Good night (5713) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?

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  (760): Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl? http://tfl.nu/fr90
  Replies (10) Good night (1375) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.

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  (330): sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks. http://tfl.nu/zakx
  Replies (3) Good night (2563) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad

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  (203): The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad http://tfl.nu/q1tx
  Replies (16) Good night (3317) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.

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  (860): This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night. http://tfl.nu/namk
  Replies (2) Good night (1696) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.

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  (732): Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore. http://tfl.nu/0dve
  Replies (25) Good night (1461) Bad night (3099)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING

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  (931): THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING http://tfl.nu/7m50
  Replies (29) Good night (4126) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.

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  (619): Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted. http://tfl.nu/mj8h
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (774)

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