is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
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