oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
