Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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