she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
