Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
