don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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