I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
