I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize