im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
