You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
