but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize