My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I booty called her while she was in labor.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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