I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize